Have Many Cheat On Any – Infidelity Rule
April
6, 2018 headline says “60% domestic violence cases in the city have infidelity spin-off”
Mar
29, 2018 headline says “Man murders wife, surrenders before police”
The list is never-ending, I am a firm believer that with so-called
digitization, access to gadgets, more earnings, it has become easy to have a
fling/affair outside committed relationship than it was a decade before. Its no
more only for Stars and Business class, even the middle class & lower
middle class can afford it now.
Infidelity or cheating on a partner is costly. Not only it leads to
breaking families but also creates a long-lasting impact on generations to
come.
Junot Diaz says “Love
is understood, in a historical way, as one of the great human vocations - but
its counterspell has always been infidelity. This terrible, terrible betrayal
that can tear apart not only another person, not only oneself but whole families.”
Infidelity
is fascinating because it's so revelatory about people. It's this a really
silent thing that everyone acknowledges
as a general practice, but nobody likes to go beyond that, to get down to the
details.
Let
me try to break down for you.
At
first, place Why Infidelity?
Infidelity is one of the most upsetting things one
can experience in a relationship, but...
What motivates partners to be disloyal?
No more love and unsatisfied sex
life, both are strong motivation to look for partners outside a committed
relationship. Thus for intimacy, feeling valued and desirable one doesn't mind
to have few more partners.
Next comes negligence, this is more common among married
couples after other events viz career, kids take over and romance starts to
fade away.
There are people who enjoy variety and motto is to live life
fully, getting attached to different partners is no big deal for them.
It can be situational too, momentary liking when drunk or
high on vacation alone, at times it could be due to anger on a partner also.
Just
to add according to me ANGER is the most futile emotion human being can have.
How to
deal with Infidelity?
If we look at the WHY factors mentioned above, Love and Sex
is something that is dependent on both partners, no matter how long you have
been together, if one seriously wants to sustain relationship or marriage, the
romance part cannot be ignored. Whatever small time you get to keep the romance
alive in small forms you can, keep doing it.
A study reveals that few wives had implicitly
consented with their husband having a lover because they were no longer
interested in sex, at all. They both, to some degree, got what they needed
without having to give up what they wanted.
The decision is yours, it's
not so convenient as mentioned in above study to accept the cheating part. I
mean no one wants to hurt other partner and thus chooses to lie.
Divorce/ murder/violence isn’t the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is regretful
and committed to change. I am confident that
it is possible to get same bonding back on the trail
and revive faith, love, and passion. One
will not forget, but forgiveness is not meant for the disloyal, it is a gift
other partners give to themselves.
Maybe I am being too
practical about issues that are filled with guiltiness and bitterness. It's so easy to talk hypothetically about
relationships than to navigate it.
Rgds,
NSK
pic courtesy
shutterstock.com
No comments: