Shanaya’s Break Up Song

Part of Shanaya can hardly remember the pain and agony that she suffered after her worst breakup. It's only now that she and her best friend can finally giggle about their outrageous grieving mechanisms and the torture they put themselves through for boys that didn’t deserve it. The other part of Shanaya remembers every excruciating detail of feeling lonely and crying herself to sleep.

As she discussed about breakups with other people who have undergone the same, she recognized that there is still so much pain and regret that overcomes us during a breakup – and we mistakenly try to rush the healing process. But keep in mind that there is no time limit. And the amount of time it takes to get back to feeling normal varies from person to person.

And while she does hope that some of her breakup survival tips will help you, she also wants to share a few more insights that may help keep you sane throughout your recovery.

If you are ever going through a breakup, a rough time, the 7 points below you must tell yourself:

1. “I love myself” – Cheeseball. I know. But it works, especially if you believe it. 

According to Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love, self-love is important, “because ultimately we are the ones responsible for our actions, choices, and the outcome of those actions and choices. We cannot give to someone else what we don’t have, and likewise, we cannot get from someone else what he or she doesn’t have.”

If you love yourself, you will be the master of your feelings, not some f*ckin idiot that broke your heart.

Do check my selfcare blog too

2. “I want to be happy” – Seriously, do you?

This seems like a dumb question – of course, I want to be happy, who doesn’t? The problem is, a lot of the time, I actually don’t. I let small things frustrate me. I have an extremely short temper, and I get mad at the most trivial matters. Why? It’s because I forget (or maybe don’t want) to be happy at that moment. Maybe I want to be angry or upset, so I have to remind myself that I want to be happy, and then I will force a fake smile until it turns into a real one.

3. “F*ck him/her” – Sometimes bad language can actually be good for you, it helps in relieving pain. Say it, whisper it, scream it – let it all out. Not only do you end up soothing the pain, but you are also telling yourself that you are not going to be a victim.

4. “I always hated his dumb haircut” – Remember that annoying thing about him that always bothered you, but you never admitted it to yourself, because you were madly in love? Well, it’s time to spill all the dirt. Take off your love goggles and tell yourself what you really saw in him. Even if it’s something as tiny.

5. “I am better off without him or her, because…” – Quick! Finish the sentence. For me, it was: I am better off without him because now I can finally do what I want rather than thinking about what that a**hole liked.

6. “It has been x days since we broke up, and I feel…” Here’s another fill in the blank for you. You can say whatever you like – just be truthful. If you’d rather write it down in a journal, that’s okay too. The reason I like this phrase is that it keeps you present in the current moment and lets you feel whatever it is you need to feel. Eventually, one day will turn into 30 days, and you will notice a difference. You may still be sad and heartbroken, but the degree to which you feel it will change and you will be able to recognize your progress.

7. “I will find someone better much better” – These words may be the most difficult to utter, especially if you believed that your ex-was “the one” or your soul mate. Trust me, we’ve all been there. And because this phrase is so hard to say, it is, in fact, the most crucial. Let me tell you something that you may not want to hear: You will meet someone better – it is inevitable. You will meet someone else who will treat you well, be kind to you, love you, and most important of all, not break your heart.

Rgds,

NSK

pic courtesy freepik.com